WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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