You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
