She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
