Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
