Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize