then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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