How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
