I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
