I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
