What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
