I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize