Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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