Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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