I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize