I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
