she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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