i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
