one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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