my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
this is an emotional support booty call
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
