i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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