I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
