Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
