i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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