38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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