I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I got chris browned last night
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize