I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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