i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
