I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
