Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
