it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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