If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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