We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize