i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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