conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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