Your face is a jimmy john
i don't like sucking hair
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
