and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
