At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
