I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
