PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
