mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
