Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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