I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize