Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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