He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
