The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
