So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
