I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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