It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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