So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
