I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
