I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
