Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize