Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
