Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
organizing the empties. That sober.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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