I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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