The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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