Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
be right there i have to get my cape
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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