1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
