New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
